Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Will this end up as more than just an unpublished draft?

I haven't posted much this summer~I've written but I haven't necessarily posted.

Whenever we've packed up to move to a new home, I would always end up going back through my diaries and journals and getting caught up in the memories of those days past. And in each journal there were gaps of time where I didn't write at all. Those gaps in time matter only to me-until I wrote this today, no one but me knew they were even there. What was it that was going on in my life that caused me not to write? Was I just busy or was something weighing heavy enough on my mind that I just couldn't write it down?

A blog is different than a diary or a journal. Other people read it. The fact that I'm not writing is out there for anyone interested to see. And that makes it even harder to write some days.

During this gap in writing there has been a whole lot going on in my life that caused me not to be able to finish the drafts that I've begun. The times I sat down to write I found that either the words wouldn't come or that they were words dwelling on the times we are living in, the uneasiness over David's job situation, worries over my parent's health and in the end, the sudden death of David's mom and the initial aftermath of her death. No matter how I tried, I just couldn't seem to keep the blog focused on this old house and our efforts to restore her or the joys and tribulations of trying to learn how to raise chickens.

I think I'm coming around now. School has started - D was able to work out the issues in his financing at the last minute, H is in his last year of middle school, and N signed up for classes working towards her Vet Tech Certification. David learned that he will remain employed and he's been able to begin the process of grieving for his mother and my own parent's health seems to have stabilized finally. And Fall is just around the corner!

Fall is my favorite season; I've always looked at the first day back at school as more a time for resolutions then January 1. That feeling I had as a child of starting fresh with each new school year has never left me. I planted my first ever pumpkin patch and am itching to get out the fall decorations-perhaps all of this renewed energy will translate into daily blogging again. Maybe I'll finally video the little Roo's as they practice their crowing while at the same time they begin to establish just who is going to be the Alpha. No promises, mind, but there is some hope~

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