Changing plans~

Strong winds. Lots of bugs. Dappled sunlight. Heavy vehicle traffic in the surrounding fields and roads (i.e. a sod roller that shakes us like I imagine a small earthquake would do) . And a paving stone patio that refused to work well with others (partly due to chickens that love to peck near it) and dirt that refused to support sod no matter how hard we tried. All of these contributed to our overcoming an aversion to a concrete patio and path from the backdoor to the Gazebo. It all went in yesterday.

Over the past 8 years, we learned that bugs are so heavy for 4 - 6 months each year that we are "housebound" for way too many days. We wear bounce sheets tucked in our collars to do yard and garden chores during those months. Sitting on the front porch is a rare thing because either you are being blown so much you don't have to do a thing to rock in the chair (!) or you are being bugged beyond tolerance.

We can tolerate the bounce sheets and the winds; what we find we can no longer live with is being housebound for so many months of each year. The plan was simply to lay concrete inside the frame of the gazebo and roof and screen it. Until it wasn't. The more we talked about it, the more we convinced ourselves that putting in a patio was the right move. Having to reset pavers each year was getting old. The area between the house and gazebo is shielded from the winds most of the time, but keeping grass there was nigh on impossible due to high traffic. And so, last years project of completing the gazebo was put off until this year.....

We placed permanent "holes" on all sides of the patio and walkway so that Tiki Torches will stand firm in the winds and being buffeted by playing dogs and protected from the pecking of the chickens.

And there are fire bricks in the spot where we will build a small fire "pit" for those evenings when there is a chill in the air.

Now comes the job of making that stretch of concrete "fit". This means lots of container planting. We found 2 pairs of concrete planters that will be filled with something in the "heirloom" realm; I've dug out my "Restoring American Garden's" book and been making a plan. The kitchen garden (the brick one just outside the back door and along the foundation) has been planted with Rosemary and Marigolds (they help a little to keep bugs away).

The idea is that folks won't notice the concrete because of the plants that cover it and the pretty torches that line it. I hope that the seating areas draw folks in and make them want to sit and enjoy the view while sipping ice tea or an ice cold beer in the summer and Irish Creme laced hot chocolate in the winter near a small and cozy fire. I know that that is what I''ll be doing!

And if the torches aren't working well enough to keep away the bugs, we'll be able to move into the screened gazebo and sit in cozy chaise lounges or melt away the stress of the day in the hot tub!

There is a lot of work ahead for us....but I am ready!

Getting used to the silence~~

This morning I had a bit of that old vertigo. As I slowly sat up, I remembered the last attack about two years ago....and that made me remember Murphy. On that morning, I sat up in bed only to fall completely sideways. Murphy, sensing something was not quite right, got up onto the bed and laid closely beside me until I could sit up; then he walked beside me where I could place my hand on his head to "center" myself. This morning, the attack was not quite so bad as to have me falling sideways; this morning, there was no Murphy there.

Two weeks ago, this would have brought tears to my eyes. This morning, I was actually able to think about my Murphy - picture him in my minds eye - without having to push the thought hurriedly away to avoid wrenching sadness. Its the same with our Indie. I can now almost actually look at a photo of the two of them without wanting to cry my eyes out. Now, I can sit for a moment and remember. I'm getting used to the silence. I'm getting used to having only two dogs gathered at my feet.

An almost silent house...

I've spent the majority of the last four years of my life with three labs and a tripod; a rabbit, two to three cats and an ever-growing flock of chickens. The pets have helped me deal with the process of becoming an empty nester; all that maternal stuff that needs to have an outlet went to the animals and the noise of cackling hens, crowing roosters, purring cats, and panting or snoring or tussling dogs can replace the sounds of multiple teenage voices on the phone, tv's or radios blaring from various rooms in the house.

Funny how you get so used to noise that silence is louder to your ears then the noise is. Today, that silence is pretty loud. No Murphy panting. No Indie playing with Callie. And only the occasional chicken or rooster in the background because we thinned the flock last week (giving all our game hens to a friend leaving only Little Roo and his five reds).

Labs are known to their owners as "Velcro Dogs". They have to be as near to you as possible and in a group of several will push and prod and wiggle to achieve that position. This meant that whatever chair I sat in was not always stationary. Today, instead of my wheeled desk chair slowly being pushed to one side or the other because there are four dogs lying at my feet, jockeying for that place where they are actually touching me, there is only Callie lying there (King is upstairs somewhere). When I gathered eggs this morning and watered my veggies, only two dogs went out the door with me and trailed along behind me. This will take some getting used to.

There is a poem for parents about how they should cherish crayon markings on the wall and fingerprints on refrigerators because those who leave behind such evidence quickly grow up and out of your house. I wonder if there is one for pet owners who suddenly find their world filled with less of all that comes with those pets? Things like dog hair and water spills and frequent requests to go outside and the stampedes that sometimes took place while going out the door........

I pretty much gave up on dog hair free floors over the last four years - I learned to live with evidence that remained behind when one or more of the dogs tanked up on water from one of the dishes strategically placed throughout the downstairs. I learned to let the dogs go out the back door before me to avoid getting trampled. I used to get aggravated sometimes at night when one by one the dogs would come and ask to be let out instead of being able to stick to the outing schedule that they all followed when they were young and healthy. Last night, I kept waiting for Murphy or Indie to ask to go out one last time before bed....instead of aggravation there was sadness.

Today, the fact that I haven't vacuumed for two days isn't as obvious as it would have been three weeks ago. I haven't stepped in three puddles of water before I've had my second cup of coffee. I was able to half heartedly go back to the old rule of "I go out the door before you dogs" when I went to gather eggs.

I'll get used to it. Callie and King will stop moping around and I'll hear the sounds of them playing somewhere in the house. I'll get used to floors that won't have water spills all day long every day - that vacuuming twice a week or maybe even once a week will be sufficient. I'll stop bracing myself for the stampede that was always a part of going outside with the dogs. And also to the fact that my wheeled desk chair stays in front of the keyboard instead of slowly but surely being pushed to the left or the right..........

From three labs and a tripod to one lab and a tripod - in less than one month

RIP Black Indie Boy - October 2001 - April 2011. We didn't get to spend your first three years with you and we spent a year undoing all the damage that was the result - but for the last seven years, you've slept where you wanted, had all the toys you could ever wish for, chewed through dozens of soccer balls and been one of the loves of our life. We will miss you.

Indie came to us the weekend of Hurricane Jeane in 2004. His previous owners were retiring to a place where pets were not allowed. They'd lost his "brother" to cancer a year or so before and wanted to place Indie in a good home. That home was not supposed to be this old farmhouse........

Our daughter was 21 years old and moving out for the first time. She and her friend Brandi were renting an old house in town and David and I felt she needed a dog for protection...and so Indie came to stay in the farmhouse for the three weeks we were painting and helping the landlord put in new flooring in that rental house.

There was only Murphy here then. He'd been with us since the previous January coming to live with us just two weeks before we moved here, but was already known as the Dog in a Million. We'd seen his intelligence in so many different ways - and as lifetime dog owners, knew that he was exceptional. We'd watched him reassure our Shanna when he came to live with us and watched him wait while she slowly let him take over her chores. But we were a bit nervous introducing him to Indie - we didn't need to be though..........

Indie was very very frightened the day Nikki and I brought him home. He refused to get out of the back of the truck - sitting there with a ball in his mouth and drooling terribly...for about 2 hours. Adding to the problem was the rain that was starting to come through ahead of the hurricane. Nikki sat in the truck with him and finally lifted him forcibly out and into the yard. David and I had Murphy in the front yard waiting for the introductions.

Indie came hesitantly along with the leash held in Nikki's hands. Murphy immediately sat down without being told. Indie, shaking, kept barking and growling. Murphy simply sat still. Then, he stood up, turned around, and sat with his back towards Indie. Indie slowed down the shaking and the barking and took a few tentative steps towards the sitting black lab that towered over him when standing. Murphy then laid down. And Indie came closer. Then Murphy rolled over onto his back exposing his throat to Indie. And Indie sat down. And the two of them entered the house.

Over the next few weeks, we learned that the hints we'd gotten that first day of his timidity were actually who Indie was. He refused to put the ball down unless he was eating or drinking. He wanted to be in his crate all of the time. After a few days, we had to resort to withholding attention unless Indie put that ball down. We learned that by nature, Indie was always timid. The ball and the crate were his security objects. He never went into a room by himself. It would take months for him to feel free enough to do so and almost a year before he'd put the ball down (to trust that we'd pay attention to him without him first having to bring us a ball). Our vet explained that this was all the result of excessive crate training.

The last day before Nikki's move, we took Indie over to the house to introduce him to it while we finished up the last touches before moving in the furniture. He was glued to my hip - shaking. We'd taken Murphy with us and he was all over the place - trying to encourage Indie to explore the house and the yard. Indie wanted nothing to do with any of it.

When it came time to load up and head home, I said "Let's go, Indie" and he raced from the bathroom just off the kitchen and out the front door, across the front porch and jumped over the bushes - hit the ground once and bounded up into the truck. Nikki and I just looked at each other...both knowing that Indie was not moving into that house with her. And so, the farmhouse became his home. He got to stay in the place that David called Doggy Disney World.

Over the next year, we worked very hard to help Indie get over his timid nature. Realizing that Indie's dependence on the crate was unhealthy mentally, we folded it up and put it away, but still he slept downstairs alone each night. It was time to teach him how to use those stairs---we got him up pretty easily but going down was a different story. I sat at the top of the stairs with him while Nikki stood at the bottom calling him. We reversed positions. We left him up there. Nothing would get him back down those stairs. And that is where Murphy comes in again....

Finally I called Murphy upstairs - he bounded up them. Then I said "go back down Murphy" and he bounded down them - Indie watching wide eyed, that ball in his mouth and drool dripping. Murphy turned around at the bottom and barked. Indie barked back. Murphy bounded up - then down...and barked. And Indie barked. Repeat six or seven times. Finally, Indie stood up and made his slow but steady way down those stairs - and up them at bedtime and down again for breakfast. He never ever would bound up them like Murphy or move down them with any speed at all but he learned.

Indie would never be a normal dog - much less a normal Lab. But, he was who he was and we all loved him for it. Although he learned that he didn't need a ball to get attention, he had other ways of getting it - especially after King and then Callie came to live with us. Whenever we came in the door from outside, he was always the last to enter...and then he'd lay right down in front of the door and your feet. You'd have to give him a hug and a stroke or two before he'd move the rest of the way into the house. When he felt he hadn't gotten enough attention for too long - he'd come over and sit on your feet. He was special - a mentally deficient Lab with lovable quirks - always silly but obviously very happy with his lot in life.

We've lost both Murphy and Indie in less than one month. Murphy to seizures that took his personality away and Indie to the effects of poor breeding and old age. Indie's hips went first about 18 months ago, then his elbows (both of which are genetic but with proper breeding of dogs that don't have the issues can be avoided). About a year ago, he developed a fatty tumor that we had to choose to ignore due to his age and the risks of surgery. And lately, his sight had begun to go. But Indie's personality? That was always there.

He could barely move - he slipped while going out and down the stoop steps - he hadn't slept upstairs in about 6 months or so (the steps that he never really got good at maneuvering were beyond his reach) - but at night as he and I sat in the living room watching TV, he roll onto his back and grin that doggy grin tail wildly wagging. Callie learned to bring him the ball and lay down to play with him or the rope to play a gentle game of tug of war. Every now and then, she'd race around the yard or the house to let off the steam that she used to let off with Indie running with her but then back she'd come to lay down and play with him some more.

I'd been putting off making the appointment for Indie. For some reason, it was harder than the call for Murphy. Murphy's personality was slowly disappearing with each seizure - we had had a long goodbye with Murphy - but Indie's personality was still there in full force. - every single silly, happy bit of it. I'd watch him struggle through the day and think "I'll call tomorrow", but then at night I'd see that grin and watch that tail and the next day would pass without me picking up the phone.

But last Thursday, as I watched Indie playing with Callie and watched him slip on his way out the door, I had a revelation. Indie was never going to lose that personality - in his mind, he'd aged as far as he would ever age. Excessive crate training, a lack of personal attention and not enough freedom to roam and learn about the world during his first three years of life had retarded his mental capacity. There would never be a day when he'd look at me, like our 15 year old Shanna did, and let me know he was ready. And to let him keep on suffering was unfair. I was doing it for me and for David and the kids.....and not for him.

And so, I finally made that call. I brushed him one last time. I told him how glad I was that he'd come to live at Doggy Disney World and that I would love and miss him always. And I will.

In honor of Our Murphy

Two days before our cruise, we had to make the difficult decision that it was time to let go of our Murphy. The epilepsy that he'd been suffering with for the last two and a half years was getting the best of him. We'd had to increase the meds to control the grand mals and were now seeing liver damage in his test results. Each seizure lasted a bit longer and his recovery time was getting a lot longer (the last time was more than 2 hours of non stop pacing and barking). His rear legs were so weak that he stumbled up and down the stairs into and out of the house and often fell. My guardian dog, the one who was always at my back, had reached the point where the slightest stress caused mini seizures. The time had come.

Our home is a lot quieter now. I didn't realize that he made so much noise - panting, "talking", and always on the move making sure the house was secure when David wasn't here to take over the job for him. A dog like Murphy doesn't come along very often and we were blessed to spend the last seven years with him at our side. RIP Our Murphy.

Past posts about our Murphy.

Our Murphy

How King became a tri-pod

Cruising March 2011

We were blessed to take our first cruise as a family just last week. It was the vacation of a lifetime - we got the call for an upgrade (with the difference between the cost of our original room and the upgrade going to charity) and were so lucky as to be in the Owners Suite on the Carnival Fascination. We made memories we will never, ever forget.

Create a Free Slideshow

The State of Our House part two

There's a new table in the dining room and a bureau temporarily against the wall where the piano used to be; the guest room is painted and the bedroom suite is upstairs in the Master.......

There is still a spot in the living room where a chair should be.....but Papa's chair is coming "home". Members of Dallas' new church have been generously donating all sorts of things; things that include a recliner and a sofa and matching chair! So, I gently reminded him that since he really didn't need three chairs in that rather small living room there was a great big hole in ours that was perfect for that chair! And he agreed. We'll have to wait until we go to visit or he comes home, but its nice to know that chair with all its memories will be back here soon. (It's still Dallas' chair, we're "borrowing" it until he has room for it.)

As for the guest room - it needs a mattress set and nothing has been hung up on the walls as of yet. We decided to use some photography our friend John Binkley did for us a few years ago and we're waiting to get it all printed and framed and hung. We've chosen shots of the old barn and the ancient Ford tractor that hasn't been used in years along with a couple of other shots that John took for us. Other decor planned for the room includes some antique toy trains and various linens made by David's mother on her loom.

We found the "new" table on my birthday while we were actually looking for some bedside tables that would go with the "new" suite in the Master. Although we found several tables that would have worked, nothing really said "buy me" - mainly because I'm leaning toward using un-matching tables that will give us a "pieced together' look while David is thinking more traditionally.

After visiting several antique dealers in town, we stopped by at our favorite store "A Step Back In Time"; we always leave this one for last because 90% of the time, it is here that we will find exactly what we are looking for....even if we didn't know it until we saw it. Going in to look at tables for beside the bed, we found the perfect one for the dining room. We've shopped here for so long that the owners have become friends and they know that "scale" is the most important thing we have to think of when we buy something for this house. So when I mentioned that we would also be looking for a farm table in a few weeks and he simply said "go look in the back room" off I went and then David heard that "oooh" that means he's doomed.

Tucked away in that back room was the perfect table - scale just right, drop leafed, perfect color and not so valuable that four dogs, three cats and various visiting teenagers would make us nervous every time they were in the room. Despite the fact that our original idea was to put the farm table in the kitchen and move the current kitchen table into the dining room - this table was perfect for the little used dining room. While not being used for eating or serving, it is long and narrow with the leaves dropped... filling the room while not obstructing the traffic flow.

The dining room is actually a walk through room; you go through it to get to the living room. Unless the table is "just right" you have to walk around it. This table is "just right".

As is the norm around here, every project takes a bit longer than we planned and gets revised as we go along; the finishing touches always get put on hold as we focus on the other areas of our life in the country - from chickens to gardening to simply deciding that today the front porch is calling. Three weeks ago we were in chaos wondering how in the world we'd put this place back together; today I find that I can walk through all the rooms and see what they are to be in the near future.

So the update to the original post regarding the state of our house is this.... its getting there....and like that dining room table, it is close to being "just right"........I'll post some photos soon.