Years and years ago, when I was an Air Force Brat moving from school to school and continually having to make new friends, I learned a lot about being patient about some things. Most of the time, I was the only "new" girl in the class, but every now and then, especially as I got into middle and high school, there'd be a whole lot of us "new" kids. When there are a lot of you, its harder to assimilate into the groove that's already been established through the years and years these other kids all knew each other; the newbies all tend to hang together until they find their own niches in the social structure of the school.
I was about 13 the first time I really experienced this and I sort of rushed into a close friendship with one particular girl. My mom and dad didn't like her much and tried to encourage me to slow down until I really knew who she was but I didn't listen. There were four of us who were all new and were hanging together. I was content in that group of four, but the one I was the closest to wasn't; the first time I really saw this was at my 14Th birthday party. I wanted a sleep over with just the four of us - she encouraged me to invite a few other girls over and suddenly, the other half of our group of four newbies wasn't coming to the party. I took their excuses at face value, not realizing that "my" friend had told them that I really didn't want them there and that I really only wanted the other girls I'd invited. A few weeks later, my friend completely turned on me and was hanging with those others she'd encouraged me to invite.
Suddenly, I was not liked by her "new" group of friends and the other two girls wouldn't speak to me either. I struggled through the end of the school year lonely and heartsick at the betrayal. My parents told me to just be patient because her true colors would eventually come out as long as I didn't do anything to justify any of her lies against me. It was hard, but I listened and I waited and .....
Shortly after the beginning of the next school year, that not so good friend's "group" approached me and began to apologize for the way they'd treated me the past year explaining that over the summer, they'd learned who that other girl really was.....my revenge was served cold and I didn't have to do a thing to have it served. That group of friends became very close to me over that year and that year was one of the best ones of my childhood (and then we moved....again!).
I didn't forget that lesson and through the years have quietly waited for tides to turn - for those who throw the first lying accusation out to be found out. I've learned that those who accuse others usually are the ones actually doing the dirty deed - its called deflection - and if you wait long enough......well, like I said, its a dish best served cold~